Collisions are usually described as chaotic, confusing, and typically life altering!
I've come to realize that the best way to describe my life now is a "collision of worlds".
It started when I was preparing to come to the U.S. I felt bad because while I wanted to see my family, friends, and eat some food I hadn't experienced in a while (Praise Jesus for some shrimp!!!) I was also VERY hesitant and unsure about leaving where I now consider "home". It was weird to hear people say "Are you ready to be home?" Or when I got here people have asked, "Aren't you so glad to be home?"
I smile and say, "I'm happy to be HERE." And that's the truth, but could not and still can't bring myself to call the U.S. "home". I've discovered this is common with people who live overseas.
The only word I know to describe this whole experience is "weird". It's hard to explain to people what it's like to put your life on "hold" in one place to come back and live in another for 3 months. That's long enough to be back in the culture but not really readjust or "live" there.
It's like I have two different "worlds" that have collided in my heart. Both places are dear to me, I have people I care deeply about in both places, but neither is fully "home".
There are people I know where I live who have heard the word "Walmart" before but have NO idea the implications of it; some people celebrate Christmas but not near to the extreme that Americans do. And there are people here in the U.S. who have never and will never experience walking across the Old Bridge at night and the profoundness of the history in that one spot; I forget that many people here don't understand me when I use the word "Gypsy"; like me before living overseas, they don't know who the Roma are, their history and heritage, their plot in life. It really is like living in two different worlds!
Before I left I was studying through Colossians and this was the sweet comfort the Spirit gave me: "And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, CONTROL YOUR HEARTS. BE THANKFUL." And so that has been my prayer. That I would let the peace of the Messiah control my heart and that I would be thankful for EVERY experience I had in my time Stateside.
My first week here the word collision fit to a "t": chaotic, confusing, not a good thing. I wasn't freaking out or anything, but was simply overwhelmed. As He often does, my sweet Father brought the truth of that verse to reality in a very sweet way.
I won't ever forget my first Sunday back. I went to a worship service with my sister. She tried to prepare me that it was a big place, and that the worship was kind of like being at a Hillsong concert (nothing against Hillsong, but she knew this isn't what I was use to now). I remembered what U.S. worship services are like, so, I prepared myself....
I thought...
We got there and there were SO MANY PEOPLE. The stage was decked out with lights and tons of people on stage. It was loud and in your face, and in that moment, while I had looked forward to singing praises in my native tongue, all I wanted was to hear Bosnian flow from the leaders lips.
But it didn't.
I felt tears starting to form and closed my eyes and prayed, "My sweet Savior, you are not a God of chaos, and I know this. You are the Prince of Peace and the Great Comforter and right now I am overwhelmed and feel nothing but chaos. Please, please allow me to know Your peace."
And right then I heard a sweet voice next to me.
It was an older lady who has lived in the US for a while but is originally from Africa. She could not carry a tune, but was singing praises to her Father at the top of her lungs....
She was all I could hear...
and I smiled..
and said "Thank you, Jesus".
Ever since then He has been teaching more and more about allow His peace to rule my heart and how to be THANKFUL (in all things, all places, at all times).
And yesterday, once again in a very sweet and subtle way, He reminded me of a very powerful truth: The collision of worlds began long ago for me (and you). It began way back when (when God created), but more specifically when God sent His Son, and named Him Jesus (Yahweh saves) and declared that He is GOD WITH US (Immanuel).
In reading the beginning of Luke (for Christmas time), the awe of Christ's coming became very real to me.
I'm sorry to say that I don't often enough stand in awe and amazing of Christ's coming; the fact that Christ choose to collide with this world He created, that He might be like us in EVERY way, yet without sin. That He might suffer, be tempted, take on our punishment, and die. And do what no one else could: defeat death by being raised to life.
It's definitely confusing in the world's eyes and FOR SURE life altering. It is indeed a beautiful collision!
And in processing through my time here, my own collision of lives and worlds, it occurred to me that the greatest collision that ever occurred is when the Light collided into the darkness and overcame.
And that is why I can live like I do; fully at peace in the chaos of life, the overwhlemingness of different cultures, and the limbo of never really having an earthly "home".
It's only because "of our God's merciful compassion, the Dawn from on high has visited us to shine on those who live in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the WAY OF PEACE."
I've come to realize that the best way to describe my life now is a "collision of worlds".
It started when I was preparing to come to the U.S. I felt bad because while I wanted to see my family, friends, and eat some food I hadn't experienced in a while (Praise Jesus for some shrimp!!!) I was also VERY hesitant and unsure about leaving where I now consider "home". It was weird to hear people say "Are you ready to be home?" Or when I got here people have asked, "Aren't you so glad to be home?"
I smile and say, "I'm happy to be HERE." And that's the truth, but could not and still can't bring myself to call the U.S. "home". I've discovered this is common with people who live overseas.
The only word I know to describe this whole experience is "weird". It's hard to explain to people what it's like to put your life on "hold" in one place to come back and live in another for 3 months. That's long enough to be back in the culture but not really readjust or "live" there.
It's like I have two different "worlds" that have collided in my heart. Both places are dear to me, I have people I care deeply about in both places, but neither is fully "home".
There are people I know where I live who have heard the word "Walmart" before but have NO idea the implications of it; some people celebrate Christmas but not near to the extreme that Americans do. And there are people here in the U.S. who have never and will never experience walking across the Old Bridge at night and the profoundness of the history in that one spot; I forget that many people here don't understand me when I use the word "Gypsy"; like me before living overseas, they don't know who the Roma are, their history and heritage, their plot in life. It really is like living in two different worlds!
Before I left I was studying through Colossians and this was the sweet comfort the Spirit gave me: "And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, CONTROL YOUR HEARTS. BE THANKFUL." And so that has been my prayer. That I would let the peace of the Messiah control my heart and that I would be thankful for EVERY experience I had in my time Stateside.
My first week here the word collision fit to a "t": chaotic, confusing, not a good thing. I wasn't freaking out or anything, but was simply overwhelmed. As He often does, my sweet Father brought the truth of that verse to reality in a very sweet way.
I won't ever forget my first Sunday back. I went to a worship service with my sister. She tried to prepare me that it was a big place, and that the worship was kind of like being at a Hillsong concert (nothing against Hillsong, but she knew this isn't what I was use to now). I remembered what U.S. worship services are like, so, I prepared myself....
I thought...
We got there and there were SO MANY PEOPLE. The stage was decked out with lights and tons of people on stage. It was loud and in your face, and in that moment, while I had looked forward to singing praises in my native tongue, all I wanted was to hear Bosnian flow from the leaders lips.
But it didn't.
I felt tears starting to form and closed my eyes and prayed, "My sweet Savior, you are not a God of chaos, and I know this. You are the Prince of Peace and the Great Comforter and right now I am overwhelmed and feel nothing but chaos. Please, please allow me to know Your peace."
And right then I heard a sweet voice next to me.
It was an older lady who has lived in the US for a while but is originally from Africa. She could not carry a tune, but was singing praises to her Father at the top of her lungs....
She was all I could hear...
and I smiled..
and said "Thank you, Jesus".
Ever since then He has been teaching more and more about allow His peace to rule my heart and how to be THANKFUL (in all things, all places, at all times).
And yesterday, once again in a very sweet and subtle way, He reminded me of a very powerful truth: The collision of worlds began long ago for me (and you). It began way back when (when God created), but more specifically when God sent His Son, and named Him Jesus (Yahweh saves) and declared that He is GOD WITH US (Immanuel).
In reading the beginning of Luke (for Christmas time), the awe of Christ's coming became very real to me.
I'm sorry to say that I don't often enough stand in awe and amazing of Christ's coming; the fact that Christ choose to collide with this world He created, that He might be like us in EVERY way, yet without sin. That He might suffer, be tempted, take on our punishment, and die. And do what no one else could: defeat death by being raised to life.
It's definitely confusing in the world's eyes and FOR SURE life altering. It is indeed a beautiful collision!
And in processing through my time here, my own collision of lives and worlds, it occurred to me that the greatest collision that ever occurred is when the Light collided into the darkness and overcame.
And that is why I can live like I do; fully at peace in the chaos of life, the overwhlemingness of different cultures, and the limbo of never really having an earthly "home".
It's only because "of our God's merciful compassion, the Dawn from on high has visited us to shine on those who live in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the WAY OF PEACE."
Merry Christmas!
May you enjoy and know the peace of the Messiah
and
BE THANKFUL!
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