Bosnia or BUST!!!

This journey has been an incredible one so far (and I'm not even there yet). If you would have asked me years ago or even a year ago if I would want to go to Bosnia-Herzegovina, I'd probably had responded with, "Where exactly is that?" The way God has led me to going has been challenging, humbling, and faith-building. In the process of choosing where to go, God allowed me to meet a couple already in Bosnia. They are actually doing what got me interested in coming to seminary to pursue my degree. I had great conversations with them, and during that time, the Lord put many verses before me. Two of the most prominent (that I'm still clinging to) were Ez. 2:4-5 and John 15:5. Both were challenging and made me think through two very important questions, "Who are you going to trust?" and "Are you willing to go anywhere?"
Now, I have said the majority of my life, "Lord I'll go anywhere you want." But I was actually faced with a new way of looking at that question. I had considered living in a hut, living in cold weather, hot weather, eating extremely weird things, but this is the first time I thought about being placed somewhere that I might not see fruit produced. I think I've always had this mindset that I'll go somewhere and it may take a little while, but then there would be people giving their lives to Christ left and right (the I'm going to save the world syndrome). This was the first time I was faced with, "Courtney, if you go, labor, love, serve, and sacrifice yet don't see ONE person come to Christ, are you still willing to go and tell?" I spent time praying, surrendering, and becoming willing. (My heart isn't always quick to become willing) In the end, my answer was, "yes, but I know myself and I can't do it alone." I knew there would be much faith and growth required in my life.
So the Lord broke me down, and I actually through prayer and advice put a request in to another country, but my request was denied because they weren't taking on team members. So the Lord brought me back to Bosnia :) Obviously, it was a bit discouraging because I had my "heart" set on this other place, but as usual I learned the Lord knows what He's doing. I remembered those verse, my conversations with that couple, and again was face with the question, "You say you're willing, are you really?" Things became pretty clear! I needed to trust that this is where God was leading, and if it wasn't He'd make clear where I was to go.
Helen Roseveare (a "hero" of mine because we are kindred spirits as Anne Shirley would say) has an amazing quote that has become my prayer:
"Okay God, today I mean it. Go ahead and make me more like Jesus, whatever the cost. But please (knowing myself fairly well), when I feel I can't stand anymore and cry out 'Stop!', will you ignore my 'stop" and remember that today I said, 'Go ahead'.
So here I go....Bosnia or Bust!