Love is a Battlefield

So, I think Pat had it right. Love truly is a battlefield, but I think Pat and I would define that a little differently :) I've been learning in subtle, but hard ways that to keep Christ as my focus, to know His love, and love Him and others in return is a battle against so many things: sin, flesh, the spiritual realm, and hardships that just simply are a part of living in a fallen world. There's so much to make me go, "why don't I just focus on this instead."
This past week has been a hard one, not so much physically as emotionally and spiritually. I would say the best word to describe how I feel right now is "overwhelmed". Which is funny considering my last post was during such a time of encouragement!!! Goes to show how quickly the enemy can move in. I have had a lot to do and it's all come at once, so there's been typical life stresses of getting things done, working, etc, but if that were it I don't think I would've even noticed. It's so much more than the day to day physical. I have vividly seen evidence of the battle we, as believers, unfortunately don't always acknowledge: Spiritual warfare.
Last week I had asked several people if they might want to fast and pray as I prepare to go. I don't fast near enough, and it use to be because I simply didn't understand it. I don't COMPLETELY understand fasting still, but do more than I use to. So, I decided to set aside a day to fast and pray. Well, my roommate, Marta, and I have this saying that we will use on occasion and it's rather self-explanatory: "Sin sucks, and so does Satan." That's how I felt that day! I woke up with a sinus headache (Something I haven't had in a LONG time) and it didn't go away no matter what I took, tried, anything! It was there to stay. So, I decided to try to persevere and continue with my day of fasting. Now, fasting in and of itself gives me a headache closer to the end of the day since I haven't had food, so I was prepared for that, but with this looming headache already there it just increasingly got worse. Also, for those of you who will admit that they are "human": not eating + sinus headache=crankiness, bad attitude, "you need to wake up on the other side of the bed" kind of day! Needless to say, this was NOT the day I had planned. I spent some time praying and at one point I remember talking to God, stopping, and saying "Lord, I don't know what I just said to you. I'm sorry. Please bear with me because I can't concentrate." I'm glad God doesn't measure our days as "successful" or "Unsuccessful" and that's it's only Jesus! because that day was rough! The next morning, I woke up with no headache, haven't had one since. JUST THAT DAY! "Sin sucks, and SO DOES SATAN!"
Since then, I've been dealing with managing time well, having to learn to say "no" without feeling guilty because my schedule's SO crazy right now, dealing with unnecessary stresses, learning the difference between loving people and "pleasing man", and thoughts that are of this world: focusing on petty things that aren't important, thoughts of feeling like I'm alone in this, and being forgotten as I leave. Simply thoughts that are from the enemy, but he continues to throw them at me. I'm learning more about taking every thought captive for sure!
This verse keeps coming to mind "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you." 1 Peter 5:6-10 (emphasis added).
So as I fight to know Christ's love, and love Him and those around me in return as I leave and move on to this new journey the Lord has given me, I am truly learning that I am in the midst of a war MUCH bigger than myself. It's a war where the enemy is sneaky, subtle but lethal, and he will not stop at any means. I know my Savior has won and defeated the enemy already. I just need to keep focus of that and who I am because of Christ: a conqueror! :)

This song has been one through the encouraging and hard times that has been such a joy (look it up!):
IN YOUR ARMS by Mandi Mapes
In your arms
is where I want to be
when my world
comes crashing down on me
So hold me close
keep me Yours always,
bid me, break me, be my rock
for now and all my days

Whom have I
when my heart begins to fail
when sorrow fills the streets
and sounds of death prevail
Jesus is my hope
and I know He stills the wind
So take my very life away
as long as I get Him

My soul longs
for the day I'll see Your face
when sin and death will pass
and tears are wiped away
So let the sky fall down
and earth and cities quake
and I'll say of my God and King
Lord, blessed by Your name.