Living in the Big House

As I am preparing to move back to Mississippi, packing, trying to soak up and enjoy last moments with friends, saying good-bye, and emotionally getting ready to leave my "home" for the past three years, the Lord has been making me acutely aware of a few things. One in particular is the necessity to be still before Him and acknowledge Him for who He is and what He has and is doing.
More so than that, this focus on "being still and knowing God through the acknowledgment of blessings" mindset :) began a little right before I went to the "GO" Conference.
While at the conference there was one verse that continually kept "popping" up. John 15:5, "I am the vine, you are the branches, if you abide in me and I in You, you will bear much fruit. For without me you can do nothing." After the conference this one verse continued to show itself. It was one of those, "Okay, God, OBVIOUSLY, you are trying to teach me something through this verse." So, I began praying that while I understood the gist of this verse, I would simply learn and know what it means to abide in Him.
As I've gone about the past two months since then the Lord has been putting little reminders of "abide, Courtney, just abide." This past week has been one of those, so here's the story...
I moved into the "big house". No, I'm not in jail. Rather the complete opposite. The family I nanny for (among other titles of "nanny" I have also acquired family chef, photographer, make-up artist, and my personal favorite, the family "chaplain" (and please say that with a British accent since they are British :) ). I have grown to love this family tremendously, but on with the story. They have two homes. The one they live in they call the "litte house". This house is NOT little by any means, but comparatively it is the smaller of the two. The other house is called the "Big House". This home is GORGEOUS! I would never be able to afford such a home!
In the process of me getting ready to leave, this family told me that if I wanted to live in the big house (since it's empty) I was more than welcome to stay there (no charge!). Well, I was able to sale all of my furniture the end of April, so I have no bed, dress, etc. So...it didn't take much to twist my arm to move into the big house.
The other morning I was sitting, eating breakfast, drinking coffee (practicing for Bosnia :) ) and reading the scriptures, and the over-whelmingness of God's blessings just hit me! I looked around at this beautiful home, that I have all to myself, and thought "this is like a retreat". It's not just the outward beauty of the place, but that I have a month before I move home and then move overseas, to just chill. Not that I'm being lazy and not doing anything, but I can come "home" to a place and just breathe, and spend some much needed time still before the Lord. There are many places to do that in this home, and I think I was looking at the generosity of this family and thanking the Lord for their generosity (which I am VERY thankful for). But the reality that the Lord has provided a place for me to "be still" before Him as I am preparing for my life to get very UNSTILL and go through many changes and challenges, was pressed upon me.
That awareness was heightened by listening to George Robinson this past Sunday in service. He basically went through the entire story of the scriptures. It was all VERY good, and I needed to be reminded of all of it, but there was one thing that stuck out more than anything. And I think it just goes to show what God is pressing upon me right now.
At one point Dr Robinson was talking about realizing that God is our Creator. He asked something to the extent of this, "Do you realize that God created you, formed you, and gave you life?!" I don't know why but that more than anything else stuck out to me. In fact a verse popped into my mind because of that question: Daniel 5:23. I have been reading through Daniel so there are verses that pop in my mind at times, and this is one of my favorites. The background is that King Belshazzar is following in his father's footsteps: dishonoring God, exalting himself, disgracing the things of the Lord, etc. Unlike his father, Belshazzar doesn't change his ways. In v. 23, Daniel is speaking to him and this is the tale end of his speech, "...You praise the gods made of silver and gold, bronze and iron, wood and stone, which do not see or hear or understand, but YOU HAVE NOT GLORIFIED THE GOD WHO HOLDS YOUR BREATH IN HIS HAND AND WHO CONTROLS THE WHOLE COURSE OF YOUR LIFE" (emphasis added). This verse just kind of "hit" me and it put me in awe of the Lord for a moment. To think about my Creator, the very One who holds my every breath and He asks me to just abide (remain, walk with, stay) with Him. WOW!!!
So, that's where I am right now. God is teaching me to just "abide". As I prepare to move, raise funds, say "bye", there are many things I could be stressed over. The Lord, though, has given me a wonderful peace to just be still before Him and trust so that even when I start to become anxious I know (without a doubt) that I can do nothing without Him because He who holds my every breath is in control.