Jump On In

"Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, 'Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.' "- Matthew 18:2-4

The past two weeks have been amazing! I've been "roughing it" hanging out with my neices (mainly in the pool). They love to swim, but Sara Kate (the Squish) is only 2 and can't swim on her own yet. She is bold, and thinks she can do some things on her own. Unlike Carsyn, SK is a little fearful. Once she realizes she can't swim she is QUICKLY clinging to the nearest adult in the pool and wants "OOOUUUT!" The one thing SK LOVES to do though is jump. She gets on the ladder and says, "jump!" She waits (not very patiently) til someone (big enough) will stand in front of her and she jumps in before you even count to three. This past week Carsyn (who is only 5) decided she wanted to try to catch SK. I wasn't too sure about this. Not because Carsyn can't catch her (and I knew I'd be right there to help), but because I didn't think SK would trust her sister (whose head is the only part of her body outside of the water) to catch her. Well, the Squish proved me wrong. Carsyn held up her hands and said, "Come on Sara Kate, jump!" and without hesitation SK jumped right to her. Once again, the Lord used a child to remind me what faith is. She trusted without hesitation that her sister was going to catch her and not let her drown and she proved it by jumping in.

Then again Sunday night God used children to humble me to realize I complicate things way too much! I presented to the church I grew up in and the presentation went well. I received a ton of encouragement and was so blessed by this congregation. I even cried!

I cried because at the end of presenting the pastor gave me a check to go towards my support. I've received many gifts from people. They are all SO very precious to me and the Lord has used so many to provide and bless me as I head overseas.

This gift though was a little different.... It came from children!

The church does a Vacation Bible School during the summer, and during that time they ask the kids to bring money for missions. They of course make a competition of it between the boys and girls but always emphasize that the money goes to teach others about Christ. These kids know that giving to missions is a good thing because God says it is good. Why is it so simple for children to trust in that? They don't hesitate to give the money (they've saved or their parents have given them). They could keep it to buy a new toy, movie, etc., but they give it to what God says is good: teaching others about Christ.

Their gift helped me to remember that God is good and that's all I need to know. No matter what my gift is, what I give up: how big or small it may be, I "jump in" without hesitation giving(my life, my money, time, family, friends) because God is good and people need to hear about Christ.

"Oh Blah-Dee, Oh Blah-Dah, Life Goes On"

You know those relationships you have where you don't talk to the person for years, but when you see them it's like you just saw each other the day before. I've been blessed in my life to have a few relationships like that. This past week those very relationships have been so encouraging to my life as I prepare to go overseas.
My roommate from college got in touch with me and told me she'd be in the area on Saturday I was so excited to go see her. I love Blair! We lived together for our last two years of college, and she is just precious to my heart! We've been there for one another through some joyous times, hard times, crazy times, and just through life. I've always loved her family too, so the fact that her parents were with her just added to my excitement. I haven't seen Blair in 2 years (since her wedding), and we talk, but not as often as either of us would like.
Seeing her Saturday was so refreshing! We talked about memories, laughed, joked, and caught up on what's been going on. It was as if we just saw each other. We weren't together for long, but but it was such a time of encouragement! And I'm so thankful to the Lord for letting me see her one last time before leaving!

Blair was in town because one of our friends (her best friend) was getting married. She was telling me she saw a lot of people from college at the wedding. She informed me that our friend, Allison was there. Allison was a friend I was close to especially my Junior and Senior years of college. Her, our friend, Brittany, and myself use to have fun doing nothing but being together. We just had fun no matter what we were doing (whether singing with hair brushes to Kelly Clarkson, dancing like nobody's business, or "stealing" our friend, MaryBeth's car while she chased after us!), and that's all because Allison is CRAZY-fun! So, I got in touch with Allison and found out she is living back in Alabama while her husband (also a friend from college) is overseas.
We made plans to meet on Tuesday. It was so neat to see her! She has two children now (both beautiful babies!) and thanks to her mother-in-law we were able to go grab a bite to eat. THREE HOURS LATER we returned! Our conversation was so sweet, and I miss her friendship so much. I love though that even after 4 years has past and many changes have occurred in both of our lives when we got together we picked up right where we left off...kindred spirits. We had such an encouraging talk about the Lord and how He's worked in our lives. That's one thing I've always cherished about my relationship with Allison; she is just honest, real, and loves to talk about the Lord and His work in her life! We've always shared openly with each other, and she's never failed to speak truth into my life!
I realized that even though I didn't have a label for it, I had GREAT community with these ladies in my college years. We just loved the Lord, loved each other, and had a blast living life together.
Allison said something that just sums it all up. She said, "You know I love that we can get together and it's not weird or like we have to catch up on EVERYTHING since we haven't talked in a while, but it's like we can just pick up where we left off. I think it's like that with believers." And she's so right! Both of these ladies weren't just great friends in college, but they are my sisters. For as long as I go without seeing them (even if it's never again, but we're not banking on THAT!) they will always be dear to my heart because of our relationships in Christ.
This past week held such beautiful times of encouragement to me! And I'm still praising the Lord for it!

It's a Small World After All

I hate this ride at Disney. Not the ride in and of itself (though it's a little slow for my roller-coaster blood), but this SONG!!! It embeds itself in your head and you spend the rest of your time there catching yourself humming it! As much as I dislike this song though, I've had several moments this past week that have made me think of it...
Sometime last week (I can't remember the day) I was having a weird day. I wasn't really discouraged in the sense we often think of it or anything, just somber. For whatever reason I woke up that morning and in the process of getting ready the thought occurred to me, "Courtney, this isn't your home. You haven't lived here in 7 years; it's not your home. In fact, you'll probably never own a home. You are a nomad." This thought didn't sadden me. It was just a realization that hadn't occurred to me. I've lived in apartments the past 7 years of my life, and therefore haven't owned them. I lived with my parents before then, and am now once again under their roof. I have been very grateful for the places I've lived and for my parents allowing me to live in their home. Nonetheless, the thought occurred to me that I am a drifter. Even when I get overseas, that will not be my "home". I hope it becomes more of my "home" than being in the States, but I will always be an implant there. It kind of makes the reality of the Son of Man not having a place to lay His head a little more real. Not that I'm homeless and don't have a bed (I'm not trying to make this dramatic), but moreso realizing that I'm at the mercy of others to provide a roof over my head.
Like I said, this didn't discourage or sadden me, but rather it made me a little somber. Am I really wanting to live this way? What about the American dream? The white picket fence and the 2.5 kids playing in the yard? :)
I've never really desired that kind of a life. So those questions were fleeting. But it did put me in a somber mood, so I just needed a little encouragement, a little bit of "I'm God and I know what I'm doing with your life" thrown at me :) So that's just what God did!
After this day (it may have been the same day) I got an email from a man my dad works with saying they wanted to help send me overseas. His letter was very encouraging and this couple actually has a daughter serving overseas as well. He talked about how he'd be praying for me and my family sense he also knows the hardship the families back home go through. It was awesome to me that this couple, whom I've never met (and may never meet), and whose relationship with our family started through an oil company and meeting my dad overseas, and who have sacrificed their own daughter to what the Lord has called her to, was wanting to encourage and support me as I go. What a humbling thing!
Then this past Sunday I went to the church my sister and brother-in-law went to while living here. There was a family visiting who lives in Southeast Asia. Of course I wanted to talk to them about where they are and what they are doing. While talking to them we realized that they know one of my dear friends who is in Southeast Asia. In fact they do some "work" together. Also, they know one of the people going with the same organization as me. His family spent some time in their country and he is friends with this families children. Such a neat time to talk with them and be encouraged by them!
After that I met the outreach pastor there and told him about going to Bosnia. He introduced me to his wife, because she has been to Bosnia! I was just like, "Really God? Really?" Her and I had a short, but nice chat about her time there. It excited my heart a little more towards leaving. (I will definitely be talking to this couple more)
Every occurrence just made me think, "What a SMALL WORLD!?!" God used all of these to encourage my heart in knowing that He is a BIG God, and this is a small world. He is intricately involved in each part of it. He knew I needed to meet these people and be encouraged that while I may feel like a stranger in this world, it's because I am. But I have brothers and sisters who are like-minded and walking alongside me in this. We are intricately knit together for one purpose: that HIS GLORY AND SALVATION WOULD BE KNOWN TO THE NATIONS!
If that doesn't bring my heart out of somberness and into rejoicing I don't know what else will!

Oh, How I Love CAKE!!!

So this post is LONG overdue! I meant to post this a month ago (actually longer) but in true Courtney nature I would think about it when I wasn't near my computer. So here it is! :)

Before leaving Wake Forest, I wanted to get some pictures of myself done, to give people as I go overseas (and since my mom hasn't had a "real" picture of me since my high school senior portraits.)
A friend of mine, Brody (or as I call her BroDAY!!!), told me she would do them for me.
Brody and I met at work. She's a hygienist at the office I was working at. Brody is fun, talented, SO sweet, creative, and amazing! She's an awesome momma, a great hygienist (I can vouch because she's cleaned my grill), an excellent photographer, and a great friend! She has displayed strength, graciousness, love, forgiveness, and generosity in ways I haven't seen and will probably never again see. I say all of this because while I may be displaying her handy work in showing my pictures, I wanted you to know the person behind the camera. I'm so very grateful to her and honored that I can say my photos are a "CAKE" product.

If you want to take a look at her talent check her out at thecakephotography.blogspot.com.

I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed smiling for them :)

I'll Hold Your Hand, Be Your Biggest Fan; I'll Love You All of the Time

So, just to give you a run down of the past few weeks:
-My mom flew up to NC, I had two going away parties, a commissioning, MANY (too many :/ ) "good-byes", and JAM-PACKED my car before leaving for 'home'....
-We drove 5 hours, stopped and stayed in Charlotte, drove 5 more hours, hung out with Amber, Dust, and the girls, went and talked to Amber's pastor about Bosnia, took Cars-a-roo to see a movie (a tradition we've had since she was 2), said "good-bye", dragged Motty away as Sara Kate screamed for her as we were leaving..... SSHHOOO (bear with me)
-Drove another 4 hours to Mississippi, finished letters to be sent out, went to a graduation party, got my windshield replaced, started on VBS festivities, AND today helped mom pick out a washer and dryer (FINALLY!)
I know it may not seem like a ton, but I stopped today and went, "Hold up, I've only been gone a WEEK! What?!" It seems like I've done SO much. And in all honesty I've covered a TON of ground in a week (NC to MS). It's been good, but it's been a whirlwind. Saying "byes", traveling, and adjusting/settling in to being in Vancleave has been a bit overwhelming, but it's also been very good.
In this week that has flown by there have been a lot of things to happen. There has been one thing in particular that has been going on (that I have yet to share with y'all).

If you have talked to me in the past few months you know that my sister and brother-in-law are adopting from Europe. I can't even BEGIN to tell you the whole story! or even just the MANY things God is doing in this just in this past week (so if you want to read about it visit their blog: polk-a-tots.blogspot.com: you WILL NOT regret it and will be SO blessed!)
I have always been "for" adoption. In fact if the Lord ever gives me the opportunity I would love to adopt one day myself, but that's not the point of all of this. As Amber and Dust have gone through this process I have seen such growth in faith and knowledge of Christ in them and through them. I have seen the way the Lord has worked in TREMENDOUS ways through this process, not just in their lives, but in others. He has used this adoption to teach, challenge, and encourage SO many lives, especially mine!
From the get go I was hesitant (not because I was against this), but because I didn't want to get attached to two boys I didn't even know, and then be "let down" if they didn't get them. So like many of us, I put up my walls. I listened to what Amber had to say, I would offer encouragement where I could, but the reality was I wasn't "in it". It took some breaking of my own heart to realize that the reality is these boys are theirs, they are my nephews, they are my family. We are just waiting to get them home.
The Lord has grown me so much to simply trust His promise in where He is leading me and where He is leading Amber's family. Through all of this I have been challenged to open up my heart (even if it does get "let down") and love two 'littles' that aren't with our family yet. I've grown in trusting that God knows how, when, where, and what He desires to take place, and also the Lord has allowed me to take a closer look at what it means that we are adopted into His family. And all of this has come through MY SISTER'S journey! But I think that's what it means when scripture says to walk with one another, to "do life" together. Amber's not just my sister because people say we have the same eyes, we sound very similar, or we share the same parents. We have a bond much deeper, stronger, and inseparable than blood can ever be. We are united by the Spirit, and so sharing, hearing, laughing, crying, seeing God show off, and walking with her through this has been a blessing I'm praising the Lord for daily!

As a result of this process I've been reading a book, "Adopted for Life" by Russell Moore. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is adopting, knows someone who's adopting, OR if you DON'T know someone who's adopting :) This book has been an amazing challenge to my heart and what the scriptures say about adoption both spiritually and physically. So far, this part has been the most impressionable to me. Let me share it: Moore writes about when his wife was wanting to adopt, but he was hesitant, "I told my wife, 'I don't mind adopting a few years down the road, but I want my first child to be mine.' I can still hear my voice saying those words-and it sounds so small and pitiable and hellish now."
I'm not sure why but when I read this, the thought occurred to me, "What if God had said that?" What if God would have looked at me and said, "you know, maybe later, but she's not REALLY Mine, so I'll wait on that one." Could you imagine!?! Scripture says that we are bought with a price (the MOST precious price), and we are adopted into His family and He declares us sons and daughters, and we can cry out to Him "Abba, Father!" He is my Father, MY FATHER! I am declared as HIS! Not, "maybe later, she's not really Mine", but I AM HIS CHILD! No if's, and's, or but's about it. That's reality! I don't deserve to be His child, I didn't do anything to earn it, and if anything I'm not a very "good" child. But He still declares Himself my Father! He won't leave, won't abandon, won't curse, won't let me continue in rebellion, won't let me do whatever I want. He cares too much! He loves me MORE than I can ever know. He loves me enough to die on my behalf! This isn't a "man" centered gospel but rather THE GOSPEL: declaring that God is Love! and He has come to save and gather His children because He loves them! What an amazing, beautiful story of adoption. It is the story EVERY believer shares. And I've come to realize as I think about these two boys that I can NOT look at their adoption without thinking of my own. And ALL it causes me to do is rejoice in who God is, what He's done, and what He's yet to do!

So stay tuned!

Because trust me, as this process of adoption excites my heart towards the Lord more and more, I will be boasting in HIS goodness in bringing these boys home, declared as "POLK'S"! and entering into a family that LOVES their Father VERY MUCH!