Levi, Esther, and Learning Who I Am

There’s been many things over the past few weeks that have brought these two things to my mind: inheritance and identity.

First of all, this month (November) is Adoption Awareness month. Being an aunt of some of the cutest kids alive (and I'm not biased!), one of which God brought to our family through adoption, this month has made me reflect on all the events leading to Levi’s adoption. The struggles, the joys… and of course thinking about his adoption always testifies to my heart about my adoption as a child of God. The scriptures say I was a God-hater, lover of self, lover of evil, and many other HORRIBLE things, then God called me and declared me His child. He gave me an inheritance into His kingdom, an identity as His daughter, His beloved one.

Geez! If that doesn’t give me reason ALONE to rejoice, nothing else can!

But He hasn’t stopped there with bringing these thoughts of inheritance and identity to mind. I think living in a culture such as the one I’m in, where your identity and inheritance are established at birth it's hard not to be confronted with thinking about these two things. This is a culture where based on your last name, people can tell many things about you. It tells them what ethnicity you are, what you are brought up to believe, and where your allegiances lie. So again those two words are continually before me: INHERITANCE and IDENTITY.

And now, I’ve also started studying through Esther. As it usually happens in my life this theme of identity and inheritance once again show themselves. See, Esther is an Israelite living in a land where obviously things like beauty, extravagance, luxury, and abundance are prevalent, in many cases you could even say they are “life” (sound like any places you know?). She is an orphan who is raised by a cousin, Mordecai, who chose not to take her back to the promise land when God made provision for return. Rather they stayed, though we aren’t told why, just that they are living in this culture of luxury at the time of this account. Like many characters throughout scripture, this young girl, who by the eyes of the world, is pretty common (other than her beauty), is eventually put into a position of authority, she’s made Queen, and then God uses that position to save His people. Though His name is not mentioned you see God’s hand working in the events of Esther continually.

I’ve read this story many times. There’s many “themes” that people can draw from Esther, history of the Israelite people to be learned, and it’s just an amazing account of God once again saving His people from annihilation. However, as I’ve been reading through it this time, these two words again came to mind: inheritance and identity.

Esther is told to hide her identity, not to reveal who she is to the king, but to remain silent. It says specifically, “she did not reveal her ethnic background of birthplace”. But then...at just the moment necessary, she does. Esther, in an act of boldness, approaches the king and wins his approval. Then later she requests that he spare her people, and reveals just who her people are.

So, what is it about identity and inheritance that can be learned? 

That we should hide who we are and only when necessary reveal it?

I would say, “No, that’s not a good rendering of the story.”

I think more than an EXAMPLE of identity, I’ve been faced with questions. Questions like, “What do I do when my identities tested?” “Do I hide it?” “Am I bold?” “What does my identity and inheritance mean?” “How deep does it run?”
Esther is clearly tested. She has a blatant choice: approach the king, and reveal who she is OR don’t do this. The testing lies in the fact that she can be killed (literally) for approaching the king. But her people, those whom she shares an inheritance with, those whom her identity runs deep with, THOSE people are being threatened.

As a believer in Christ, I’ve received an inheritance, I’ve also been given an identity. The New Testament is filled with declaring who Christ is, and who we become IN Him.

But I think having grown up in a culture where things like inheritance aren’t really talked about. I mean maybe when a relative dies you get something, but other than that it doesn’t really define you, I’ve had to learn more about what this means to have an inheritance in Christ. Now that I’m living somewhere that I see that played out firsthand, I get it more.

Inheritance is a big deal! 

Identity is a big deal!

It not only tells you about who YOU are, but it tells you what people you belong to, it tells the world what people you are willing to defend, willing to band together with, willing to “go before the king” if necessary and loose your life that those you share an inheritance with might live. It tells you that you share promises, a future, a story, a history, and a life with “these” specific people.

To use my nephew as an example, once he became a Polk, he will ALWAYS be a Polk. He now shares our families' (both Polk and Brady) past, our families' present, and our families' future. He is a member of our family and that will never change. I will defend him, I will support him, and I would lay down my life for him. He is apart of my identity and he shares in my inheritance because HE IS MY NEPHEW.

In realizing these truths about what identity and inheritance mean it has caused me to reflect on the church, the Body of Christ. THESE are the people I share an inheritance with. These are the people who are one in identity with me. Do I look at them and all I’ve listed above and see them in that light?

Am I willing to defend them?

Not talk about all their failings?

Am I willing to band together with them (especially when they are struggling)?

Not complain about what I wish they’d do different and divide from them?

Am I willing to loose my life (my selfish desires, goals, dreams), that they might live, grow, and cherish Christ more?

I am not my own!

I belong to Christ.

And with that it means I share an inheritance and identity with other’s who belong to Christ. 

Do I live like that? Do you live like that? I can only speak for myself for sure, but maybe we all need to learn more about what it means that we have an identity and inheritance in Christ, and who it is we share that with.

“This is how we have come to know love: He (Jesus) laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.” 

1 John 3:16

A Year Later...

I've lived in Bosnia-Hercegovina for a year...WOW!!! That thought is still a little hard to fathom...A little over a year ago I stepped off an airplane on to BiH soil. I was wide-eyed with excitement, ready to get to work, a little naive (HA! that an understatement!), and well after coming from two weeks of training....tired!
So much has changed in the past year....especially me!  Like any year in life there's been some rough times, some fun times, some "alone"times, some times of WISHING I could just be alone, times of rejoicing, times of crying, times of wondering why I'm here, and times of never wanting to leave.
I wanted to share some of the ways in which life has changed over this past year...ENJOY!!!

-A year ago THIS is how I got around.  I miss driving my "Scapy-Scape". We had some fun adventures together!

-1 year later...THIS is my main mode of transportation. (My best friend will probably freak out at the dire need my feet are in for a pedicure!)
Sorry Marta Marie!

-A year ago a typical schedule was Monday-Friday: wake up, go to work, come home, unwind, go to sleep, do it again tomorrow. Weekends: hang out with friends, and go to church.

-1 year later a typical schedule is....HA HA!!! 

Is there such a thing? 

I know at some point I will drink coffee (either alone or with someone, but coffee, in BiH is a "GIVEN"), at some point I'll eat, and sometime at night I'll go to sleep. 

-A year ago this is what I would have considered a "luxury" meal. Not somewhere I went all the time because well, let's be honest a seminary student doesn't make enough to eat at Cheesecake Factory very often!



-1 year later THIS is now what a "luxury" meal looks like! Yep...you are seeing right! That's the Sarajevo McDonald's...somewhere I would've ONLY gone in the USA if my nieces begged me has now become my "splurging" restaurant...because comparatively it's a MUCH more expensive meal than local places...

-A year ago I'm not even sure I had seen a crow (the bird) before...Except maybe on TV.

-1 Year later...crows are basically my alarm clock! They are EVERYWHERE! and SO loud!

-A year ago I only had seen documentaries and well, by that I mean TLC's reality shows about Roma people. (Just an FYI: while SOME Roma cultures may look like they do on TLC...PLEASE, PLEASE, do not get your perception of the Roma people from a reality show!)  =)

-1 year later, the Lord has used the Romani people to humble, teach, and grow me in ways I didn't even know I needed! So blessed to get to know their culture!

-A year ago, our family was just beginning the journey to bring this little one home.

-1 year later...it's as if he was never NOT a part of this family!!! 

(This boy holds his Aunt CaCa's heart! Oh I love him!)

-A year ago I had tattooed on my arm "abide" because the Lord was constantly reminding me of this as I began my move to this country. He gently and lovingly reminded me just to hold on to Him, to walk with Him, and come what may, that this was what He asked and wanted of me...to just abide with Him.

-1 year later, He's taught me SO much about what it looks like to live out abiding with Him, what it looks like to trust when life is abnormal, when there's so much outside my comfort zone, when you don't understand even what the lady at the bakery is trying to say, when there are things that you can't change but your heart literally hurts wishing you could, when you see poverty like you've never seen before, when you just wish you were home to hug your best friend after her engagement, when you have nothing around you that was familiar even just a year ago...

His voice has been here...saying, "I am the same yesterday, today, and forever...just abide."  

So, it's been a YEAR...a very blessed year...and through it all He's still teaching me about surrendering, proclaiming, enjoying, loving, serving...and learning more about what it means to "abide".

Not The Way It's Suppose To Be

Disclaimer: I know I haven't posted in a while. That's partly because I've been so stinkin' busy and also partly because when I think of writing I typically am so tired when I sit down at night the last thing ANYONE wants is for me to try to articulate my thoughts! :) So, don't get excited because this doesn't mean I'm back to frequent posts, just that I actually had time and comprehendible thoughts to do some writing ;)

Yesterday was an interesting day and I wanted to comment on it. During the war here many people lost their lives. I mean it's war, unfortunately that's kind of the point. 

Yesterday this country observed a day during the war when many people were killed. 

Seventeen years later and you could still feel the somberness of the day. 

They had signs up in buses, on storefronts...no one played music, coffee shops which usually are booming with noise were low-key. The atmosphere of the day reflected the attitude of the country in remembrance of those lost. 

On my way into town yesterday I spent some time dwelling on what it all meant. I spent time trying to comprehend what it must have been like, what it IS like. I came to the conclusion that I will never comprehend what this country has gone through.

However, I can comprehend loss. 

I think we all can. 

Loss, death, hurt...we've all been through it, we've all felt it in some form.

When I was a child my grandfather died. Thinking about that time still brings tears to my eyes. Thinking of how even as a child I understood his body was giving out on him. A stroke, then cancer, you could see him slowly leaving us. And then the day came that he did. I remember that day. I remember the words my dad said to his dad over the phone (because he was overseas working) just before he died. I remember crying, I remember hating going through it. I remember knowing (even as a child)

"this isn't the way it's suppose to be."

When I was a senior in college, my Uncle Rick was killed by a drunk driver. I remember getting home from trip and my mom telling me the news. I don't remember if I cried immediately or if it took a while for the shock to wear off. I do remember thinking through the times as a kid spending with him, the joys our families shared, and just being so worried about how my Aunt Mona and her boys were doing. Such a sudden tragedy, and even to this day I remember the feeling of my stomach being in my throat and not knowing what to say. There was something messed up about it all.

It just wasn't the way things should be. 

I think we all sense the reality of that. When tragedy comes, when we see war ravish nations, when a loved one or friend looses their life (no matter what age)...it hurts, it sucks.

It's not the way things should be.

In talking with people I've heard before, "Well, I mean death is just a part of life." And even though that is the reality, it's such a contradiction. 

How can the thing that is the VERY opposite of life just "be a part of it"? As if that's an acceptable answer.

I mean death steals life, death destroys life, death kills life. (That sounds familiar...I'm pretty sure Jesus once said that the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy.) 

I think we could all agree death is a thief in the fullest sense. It's not something any of us long for or rejoice about. It brings sorrow, pain, hurt, somberness (even years later).

In thinking through these things yesterday, even the losses I've had in my own life, I just felt a since of hopelessness. I think that's where death leaves us: feeling hopeless.
In that hopelessness though I was reminded that while Jesus said the thief wants to steal, kill, and destroy, He also says of Himself, that

He is the way, the truth, and the LIFE. 

He tells us we can have life and have it abundantly. He doesn't want us to live in death, in hopelessness, in hurt.

What words of beauty! 

So even though the day brought to mind the reality of death not just in my own losses but what I can see and feel in a whole nation of people who have suffered great loss, I was also reminded that death "isn't the way it's suppose to be".
We can have hope. We can have Life...because there is One who died to make things "the way they ARE SUPPOSE to be".
Jesus took on our enemy (death) and He defeated him by raising from the grave. Death could not hold Him.
He is the VERY opposite of death! And we can know Life through Him.

That's such an amazing reality in the midst of a world that's constantly reminded of death!
While the day brought on some hard memories and also the reality of such a tragic time for this country, through all of this my sweet Savior, my Life-giver, my Conquerer  was quick to bring these truths to mind. I will end with them because I think the Word of God speaks for itself!

'The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn to grant to those who mourn in Zion-- to give them beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified." Isaiah 61:1-3

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."-Jesus (John 10:10)

"When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory! O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:54-57

Jesus said, "I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live" John 11:25

Taking Down the Tree

It's been almost 5 months since I put my tiny little Christmas tree up. Yep...my Christmas tree is still up in my living room.

It's only about a foot tall, but anytime anyone new comes over I hear, "you still have your Christmas tree up?" And it's a beautiful reminder to me of why. I'm not lazy (it will only take about 5 minutes to pack it up!) and I'm not one of those people who listens to Christmas music all year round (though sometimes I think I could be :) )

There's one reason the tree still stands...it comes down when Levi comes home.

There have been many days since that tree came into my living room that I've looked at it, been reminded of why it still stands, prayed, cried, begged, rejoiced, and giving thanks for this journey the Lord has led our family on. While I know this has of course affected my sister and brother-in-law the most, trust me when I say, our whole family has been on this journey with them.

The day is finally coming when I will no longer look at those red ornaments and silver bells! And the Lord has blessed me beyond what I could even imagine in the process of getting to take it down.

In about a week....I get to meet my nephew!!!

Wow...even as I write this I'm crying at the thought of it. I honestly didn't think it would come this soon. Since I'm here, far from my family, I thought it wouldn't be until I came home again (until he is almost 3) that I would meet him in person. But the Lord has given this gift: I get to go, see my mom and sister, and meet Levi! Praise Him!

My weeks have been full with many different things (trainings, traveling, etc), and when I return that will not change. So life is a little busy right now, but I'm not complaining!!! I'm rejoicing in it all! I praise the Lord for this "break" to get to go and meet this little man who will always have a piece of my heart.

So praise the Lord with me! And be lifting up some things as I prepare to go:

-That all will be finalized with the adoption with no surprises or hinderances

-Safe and smooth travel for my parents, my sister, and myself

-That we would enjoy one another, encourage one another, and enjoy spending time with this new little guy who has blessed our family so much already

-That Levi would travel well, and he and my sister would have as easy a trip back as possible (my parents will be with them the "main" leg) but that Levi would have a peaceful and calm spirit as all these things will be so new to him

-That he will LOVE his aunt CaCa (just as much as she loves him) right away :)

-And that as my parents will be coming back with me for a few days before meeting up with my sister, that our time in my new "home" would be blessed as they get to see my life here

So, you can "bet your britches" (southern still lives in me) that as soon as Levi gets home that tree will be put away. As a symbol of this part of the journey coming to a close (winter is over) and the next part of this journey beginning, Levi's life as he grows in his new family (spring has come!)

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

They Call Me Aunt CaCa (I know, I know)

If you know me at all, one thing you've probably realized is that I love my nieces!
They call me "CaCa". I'm fully aware of what that means :) But since it was given to me when my oldest niece was learning to talk I've cherished it. (Even hearing it yelled down the airport terminal when arriving home and seeing Carsyn waiting for me at the gate.) I am that aunt who will talk about her nieces, share stories and pictures, and just anything about my sister's girls.

I LOVE THEM!

I have had some special memories with both of my nieces, and I cherish them with all of my heart.
Before moving overseas my sister and nieces came to visit a lot. My youngest niece, Sara Kate (affectionately known as the Squish) stayed in my room. She was only a little over 2 at the time so she would often talk to me (trying to keep from sleeping at night) with her babblings. Many nights I would give in and take her out of her crib and we'd sit in my bed and read a few books. She's a firecracker so she doesn't sit still too often :) I really took advantage of these moments to sit and cuddle with her while reading her books.
One night with Carsyn (my oldest niece) I was able to go outside and just lay on a blanket in the grass. We looked up at the stars and just giggled and talked. One thing I've always loved about Carsyn is she's silly, but I can hang out with her. We've had a tradition of going to the movies every Christmas since she was two! Even at the age of two she would go sit and watch a movie (a cartoon movie of course), but she's just always been that way. She can be still and watch the stars with her Aunt CaCa and make up stories to tell me as she lays there. That night we saw a shooting star. Carsyn's first ever! and I'm so thankful I was there when she yelled, "CaCa, did you see that!?!"
I remember the day each of them was born. I can remember holding them for the very first time, looking in their precious, chubby, little faces :) and just praising God for them.
This past week I became an aunt (officially) for the third time. Even though the means by which this happened was completely different, the joy, love, and excitement I felt was exactly the same. When my sister and brother-in-law went to court I prayed, earnestly, crying out to God for favor that Levi would be declared their son. I was so nervous and a bit of a wreck the day before wanting so badly for the answer to be "yes" and for Levi to officially be a part of our family.
The day of their hearing I checked my email as often as I could, waiting to hear news. The moment I read Amber's update that Levi was officially declared their's, I literally jumped out of my seat and shouted "THEY GOT HIM!!!" My friend who was with me, jumped up too and we hugged, praising the Lord! I ran downstairs to where some people who had been joining with me (and so many others in this process) in prayer, and announced the news. There was such great rejoicing! We were all so excited!
I don't know exactly when I will get to officially meet my nephew, but when that day comes I'm sure tears of joy will accompany it. He is beautiful and already has a piece of his Aunt CaCa's heart (just like his sisters before him).
I was thinking today over the events leading to this day of joy, and it occurred (once again) what a beautiful picture this is of God's love for us. The scriptures say "I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance." (Luke 15:7) and then again "Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." (Luke 15:10)
That last verse says "There is joy IN THE PRESENCE OF THE ANGELS". Who is in the presnce of angels?! Our Father! He rejoices over us!
Paul says frequently that when we are saved we become CHILDREN OF GOD. We can call out, "Abba Father". We are adopted and loved beyond anything we can imagine. The day that happened in my life there was rejoicing in heaven! The same rejoicing happens with every persons who trusts in the Gospel!
This past week I got to see a very real picture of that through the adoption of my nephew. The boy is barely old enough to talk and I have seen the beauty of the Gospel so much through his story. This was just another way in which my Father reminded me of His love; that just as there was much rejoicing over Levi being declared a part of our family, the rejoicing over one person who trusts in Christ is even greater! What a beautiful picture of God's love for us!

So, this is one happy "Aunt CaCa" :)

I praise the Lord for my nephew, and for the ways in which my Father continually uses my nieces and my nephew to remind me of the beauty of being His, declared His daughter, and the joy of knowing that it will never change!

Kinda Like Chocolate and Vanilla...Different But Together They Make a Great Combo!

I have a great sister. We are best friends, and I praise the Lord for her often!

While Amber and I are close now though, that has not always been the case. We are five years apart and so growing up we didn't really have much to do with each other. We didn't fight, but we weren't very close either. We were just different and so we did our own thing.

Amber was into things like fashion, make-up, dance, the Royal family (she was a big Princess Di fan!), and socializing. We've always said that my sister could talk to the wall just to be talking. She's still that way, but it's a GREAT part of her personality. She is comfortable with anyone and makes them feel comfortable too.

Me on the other hand, growing up, I was into things like Transformers, Legos, my fashion consisted (daily until about the 6-7th grade) of spandex shorts, a t-shirt, side pony tail and slip-on Keds (NO socks...they were annoying!) My social life looked more like going to catch tadpoles and frogs with my friends on a rainy day or making traps to catch snakes (don't worry we didn't ever actually catch anything).

So I understand how siblings (even twins often) can be COMPLETELY different.

Last week I had the opportunity to be challenged with two sisters who are on opposite spectrums when it comes to their likes and dislikes.

My friend, Liz, has five daughters. Two of them, Emma and Savanna, recently had birthdays. They are two years apart, but their birthdays are only about 9 days apart. Liz wanted to have a party for both of them together, and I LOVE to bake and decorate so I told Liz I wanted to make their cake. And OH! WHAT A BLAST!!!

I talked with Emma and Savanna about what they wanted. I already know these girls fairly well, so I was aware of the challenge ahead of me. Just to give you an idea of my "clientele" here's a rundown on Savanna (turning 6) and Emma (turning 8).

Emma is silly. She makes people laugh all the time just because she is so goofy! She loves Legos, ANYTHING to do with dinosaurs, she wants to be an archaeolgists when she grows up, her favorite colors are green and "sometimes blue", and she is VERY strong-willed and determined.

Savanna on the other hand is the EPIDEMY of a girl! She LOVES fashion, make up, doing her nails, she is sassy as can be, loves pink and purple and ANYTHING that sparkles. In an email I recieved from Liz before moving here she was telling me about her girls and said, "Savanna is 5 going on 35." And that about sums up Savanna :)

They are both beautiful, precious girls!

When talking with them Savanna (who is a bit dramatic...actually "bit" is an understatement) looked at me with pouty eyes when I told them I was making a cake for them together and said, "Uh! That means we have to have a dinosaur cake because Emma loves dinosaurs. I hate dinosaurs." :)

I told her not to worry and asked what she would like. She responded, "Ponies. I want ponies on my cake." Emma with a disgusted face said, "Can you even make a cake that has dinosaurs AND ponies?" I again assured them both that the cake would be fine.

I then asked about flavor (that should be easy), if they wanted chocolate or vanilla.

Emma: "I LOVE vanilla."

Savanna: "I LOVE chocolate SO much!"

Yep...this was gonna be F.U.N!

So I came up with a plan to make a cake they would (hopefully) both like. I have made many cakes before, but not one this big! It was GI-NORMOUS!

I decided to make a rainbow layered cake. I figured with all the colors this would be a good neutral theme for two girls who like completely different colors. I also wanted to give them both their flavors so I decided to make them their own "pedestals" with cupcakes (one with a dino and the other a pony) on top of the main base cake.

My mom sent some cake mixes a while back so I used the chocolate cake mix for Savanna's pedestal and made the rest of the yellow cake from scratch. (The recipe I found was REALLY good, so if you're interested let me know and I'll be happy to pass it on).

I made regular royal icing for the majority of the cake, but used fondant to give each of the girls their respective dinosaur and pony. This was my first experience making and using fondant, and I learned something: fondant and I have a love/hate relationship. It goes like this...fondant LOVES to not cooperate with me, and I HATE working with fondant :)

In the end, the fondant and I found a compromise and I was just happy to be able to give each of the girls what they wanted.

Both Emma and Savanna were EXTREMELY happy with how it turned out. And this of course made it all worth it.

After we started eating the cake Savanna looked at me and said, "Courtney, I can't finish. It's too much sugar." I looked down to see that she had eaten the entire body of her pony! I started laughing and said, "Sweetie, you didn't have to eat that thing. It's pure sugar! It was really just for decoration." Relieved she said, "Okay, good. I think I just want to eat my cake." :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO 2 VERY DIFFERENT BUT VERY SWEET SISTERS!

PUNO SNIJEG!!! (ALOT OF SNOW!!!)

So, I've had some people email me asking if I'm okay. I thought posting this would be the easiest way to let people know how I am and what the situation here in BiH is.
We've gotten snow...LOTS of snow! Much of Europe is covered and dealing with freezing temperatures. I'll explain what I know of the situation, but if you want to know more I've included several articles you can read about what's going on here.
-We've gotten about 4 feet of snow in Sarajevo. BiH has been declared as in a state of emergency. The city is up and running again (buses, trams, etc). There aren't many cars on the road because most parking lots are covered and people have to dig out their cars. People are digging pathways to walk and for the most part things are "normal". They have done a GREAT job within the city of getting plows and such going to clear the roads. SO things weren't slowed down for long.
Someone here described the city like this and I think it's appropriate: "I feel like I live in an ant farm. There's paths through the mounds of snow everywhere and little black and brown bodies (people's coats) scurrying around through the paths." And I agree it does resemble an ant farm!
All that to say I am fine. I have heat, I have electricity, I have water. I am blessed!
-Sarajevo is in a valley. There are many people who live in the mountains along this valley. Most of them are stuck because snowplows can't get to the remote areas.
-People in villages usually don't have radiators. They use wood ovens. So for those in remote areas many don't have electricity or water due to the weather. Some are running low on wood and can't get more. This is causing major problems. As I write this I can hear helicopters. This is because they are using helicopters to fly in food to remote areas that are "trapped" and can't get out of the snow.
-There have been over 350 people across Europe who have died due to the weather/temperatures. And there are still MANY people without heat, electricity, and water in Europe battling the climates.
-The temperatures here in BiH are suppose to stay between 5-12*F over the next ten days. And more snow is predicted in the coming days.
IF you are wanting to know how you can pray, here are some things:
1. Pray for the weather to STOP!!! As beautiful as snow is and so gentle and dainty, when it piles up like this it causes massive problems. So, pray that this winter weather will cease.
2. Pray for those who are in bad situations. People who have no heat, electricity, water. Pray that people who can, will help. We are trying to help where we can, but we can't obviously get everywhere and are limited on resources ourselves.
3. Pray for the governments of all these countries as they deal with handeling this winter situation. This snow will eventualy melt and depending on how and when that happens, this could also cause issues.

Here are some links with more info on the situation with this winter weather:
http://www.pattayadailynews.com/en/2012/02/07/europes-severe-weather-kills-from-england-to-greece/

http://www.newsday.com/news/world/snow-traps-thousands-in-bosnian-villages-1.3509635

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/02/05/thousands-trapped-by-snow-in-bosnia/

http://news.yahoo.com/bosnian-authorities-declare-state-emergency-144026917.html

If you do have any questions, please feel free to email me!

In Need of a Little Pomoć (Help)

So it's been snowing the past couple of days...okay maybe more like it's snowed about 3-4 feet in the past day and a half! This morning I decided to venture out and take some pictures. And as He often does the Lord not only allowed me to take some beautiful pictures, but gave me a wonderful blessing to go with them....

You see last night I was a bit discouraged. I talked to my sister a few days ago, and all was "normal". Meaning she was running around like crazy taking care of her girls, and trying to get paperwork ready for their upcoming trip. If you haven't heard, they are in the process of adopting. They were suppose to be going this month for a court hearing which was SUCH exciting news since we are all SO ready for my precious nephew, Levi, to be home.

I got on facebook last night and saw a new "update" from Amber on her blog. It was titled, "Indian Giver", and my heart dropped a little. In all honesty, I didn't want to read the post. I didn't want to hear this news. I mean, I'm just the "aunt" and this has been an emotional roller coaster from the start. So, I KNOW this has been a hard ride for my sister and brother-in-law...

Of course upon reading the post she stated their trip was cancelled, their court date was cancelled, and now they do what they've been doing a lot of....they wait. Because of the upcoming elections there's much uncertainty for many families trying to adopt from Russia. After the elections they will know more about how to proceed, but basically for now, families wait, children who have parents longing to hold them wait, and as this is far bigger than adoption, a country waits to find out "what next?"

I was laying in bed last night praying for Levi...for Amber and Dust, and the Roo and the Squish, and for Russia. As my sister posted, "God IS in control." They have no control over what's going to happen, no one does, but we know God holds all things in His hands. He knows the outcome...I was dwelling on this through tears, and just praying that as I, Amber, Dust, no one can do anything, that God would just hold my sweet nephew, trusting that no matter what, Levi belongs to his Father...I've told Amber so many times "Just hand it over to the Lord." And as an aunt, my words were coming back to me, "Court, hand Levi over to the Lord. You have no control, and that's all you can do. He's taking care of him."

So I woke up this morning with Levi on my heart, and as I went out to take some pictures the Lord gentle reminded me of His guidance and leading in all things..

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I was about to go back to my apartment when I turned around and saw this sweet older lady making her way through the snow. I took a picture and then heard her asking for help. I walked up to her and she grabbed my arm. It was clear she was having trouble balancing herself through the thick, powdery snow. I asked her (in my broken Bosnian) if she needed help getting through the snow. She smiled and nodded her head. So, I walked in front of her as she held my hand through the track of snow, and I tried to pack down the path as much as possible so she would have better footing. We made it across, her speaking in Bosnian the whole time, and me trying to tell her I don't speak much Bosnian. She told me "thank you" and she was on her way.

I know that if I wouldn't have been there to help her someone would have come along, but I praise God for the opportunity to just be there because He reminded me of something very sweet. There are many times in life when we are like this lady. The path we see before us is scary, we don't know how stable it is, we feel wobblely and unbalanced, unsure if the path under us will give way, we feel like there's nothing to hold on to and we could loose our footing at any moment and fall over. But we have a God who wants grab our hand and guide us through the path He's set before us. Even though we might still wooble a little and even slip some, He is there to hold on to us to make sure we make it across.

I needed to be reminded of that today...I know God is in control, but sometimes I forget that His control even includes the little details like packing down the snow on the path to help us with each step.

So as much as I enjoyed the beauty in the snow all around me this morning, I moreso praise God for the gracious reminder that He IS in control of every little detail...So, now we wait trusting in Him as we continue on this path of bringing Levi home.

The "Norm"

It's amazing to me how less than a year ago the "norm" to me was driving a car wherever I needed to go, getting Moe's (or whatever I wanted) whenever I didn't feel like cooking, going to Walmart and purchasing enough food to last me two weeks (other than veggies and fruit of course), and only taking 20 minutes AT THE MOST to get anywhere in town I needed to go.
Oh, how things have changed!
As I was sitting on the bus looking out the window at the giant Soviet style buildings I was passing, the thought occurred to me, "this is my norm".
I now don't ever drive, I cook almost every night because there isn't really the option of "fast food" here, I walk everywhere that I can, I usually get yelled at (at least once a day) by someone because I don't understand what they are saying to me :) (FYI: this doesn't bother me...I usually just laugh!) It takes me 45 minutes or more to get to church (by bus, tram, and on foot), and I go to the store almost everyday to buy fresh food. This is my "norm".
None of these changes are bad; they are just...changes.
Before coming here I owned what comparitively would have been a minimal amount of clothes to a lot of people in the USA. However, it was still a LARGE amount. Yet, I NEVER had anything to wear. I now own about 1/3 of what I did in the U.S. and I don't think there's been a day that I've thought, "I don't have anything to wear today." It's just not a concern now. It's just not a "norm".
Before coming here I was always so busy that I went from one thing to the next. Any "inconvenient" unplanned things (like someone wanting me to spend time with them spur of the moment) just had to wait or caused me to get "huffy". Now :) HA HA! My life is full of "hey, come for coffee, right now". Those "drop what you are doing and come do this" moments that use to irritate me and "mess up my whole day" are now my "norm". And by the way I LOVE IT!!!
Before coming here I had a perception (a theory if you will) of what it meant to cling to Christ. I'm not taking my growth over the years as not serious by any means, but now my "norm" is clinging to Him daily in a way I never knew before.
You see, the Lord grows us in different ways at different times. He knows what we need, He knows what we need to let go of, He knows what we need to give up.
He knew that in coming here it wouldn't just be to use me to share His love, but it would be a-WHOLE-nother realm of growth in my life. So far it's taught me that while I didn't loose my identity (first as a believer, and also as an American) by moving to a different culture, my "norms" have changed. And with those changes, I'm learning to serve and love Him more and more, and I'm also learning what "norms" I need to "let go of" more and more. Things like accumulation, things like not letting go of plans and taking time for people. And I'm learning to pick up "norms" like the joy of cooking/creating every night, learning how to be intentional to talk with the Lord during a bus ride, tram ride and walk to church, and just learning how to "be" and slow down.
So, I can tell you one thing, no matter what my "norms" become year after year I pray the Lord continues to grow me to see Christ as my constant "norm".

A Request

I remember walking into his office and sitting down to discuss some very important matters. I had been aggravated with some friends of mine because I felt like when we discussed the scriptures our conversations were just petty, not "Gospel-centered enough". (Yuck! I think back to that and my self-righteous demeanor of thinking I was better than these people because I saw myself as more ‘spiritual’.) I gave my argument and was ready to hear my thoughts confirmed and encouraged, but instead with one question out of Dr. McKinion’s mouth I was knocked off my high horse and on my face before the Lord, “So, but how are YOU loving them?”

Dr. McKinion has always been someone I’ve admired. He has a wealth of knowledge, but more so he understands that the Gospel isn’t about knowledge, but knowing Christ. During my seminary days, I enjoyed sitting under his teachings and the times when he and his wife would open their home to students. His family isn’t just involved with the seminary they truly invest in the lives that come in and out year after year.

So, when I was checking my facebook one day and saw a post from someone about Dr. McKinion’s 10-year old son being diagnosed with cancer my heart sank. I read Dr. McKinion’s “non-sugar coated” blog post about the course of events leading up to their finding out sweet Harrison had been diagnosed with leukemia and I just wept: for Harrison, for Steve, for Ginger, for Harrison’s siblings, Lachlan and Blakely.

Such a sweet family, who loves and trusts the Lord, and now even more so they are learning how to cling to Him in a new circumstance…a terrifying circumstance…a heart-wrenching circumstance.

Harrison was diagnosed on December 9, 2011 with Leukemia. Since then he has started chemo and they have had a roller-coaster of a scary ride. He has had brain clotting, seizures, a stroke, been rushed to the ER, been in ICU, gone through testing, treatment, and more testing. Dr. McKinion has been very open in his writing about the joys of good days, and the heart-ache of scares and bad news. And through all of this the Lord DAILY reminds me to lift Harrison, Steve, Ginger, Blakely, and Lachlan up in prayer.

Harrison came home this past week. He has continued treatment and is under great care of doctors who are doing what they can to prevent the clotting, the seizures, and bring about the day that Harrison will be in remission. But today upon reading an update from his dad the news came that the cancer is not responding to treatment. This a rare form and this devastating news.

So in writing this I am asking that you would join in earnestly praying with me for Harrison. Pray for his healing, for God, who created all things with a WORD to heal this cancer in Harrison. Pray for the McKinions as they go through this time as a family, pray for the doctors treating Harrison, and pray that God would take this situation and blow our minds as He works to bring glory to Himself in this. Please lift them up as often as you think of it, and I will pray that God will lay it on your heart and mind continually.

If you want more information Steve’s blog is a great place for that:
stevemckinion.com